All in the Family

All families suffer pain. I would like to dedicate this and the next few posts of Barnabas Notes to the encouragement of those whose families are hurting. Often it seems that people have the idea that the only thing God has to say about our problems is, "Be good" or "You cannot have any part of Me until you solve your problems." Nothing could be further from the truth!

Virtually any discussion of the current sociopolitical climate will, at some point, come around to issues affecting families; real people just like you and me. One of the most important topics of discussion and debate in our capital right now is health care. That affects families. Part of the debate on health care deals with abortion and single parent families. Other specific issues that continue to be discussed are specific issues like gangs, drugs and "drive-by shootings"; issues that tear apart families. Politicians on both sides of the aisle want their constituents to think they are concerned with "family values." About the only thing anyone knows for sure today about families is that there is a lot of pain and many have begun to believe that there is no hope no matter where they look. And it is worse now than any of us can remember.

There has always been enough hurt to go around. Families have lost children and/or parents to illness, accident or violence as long as there have been families. Fathers and mothers and children have always "run away" from the rest of the family. There have always been family members who have suffered abuse from someone else in the family. However, it seems that family violece and suffering are on the increase. It could be that it is just reported more; or, it could be that things are just worse. The question is: "Why?" One possibility is that we are seeing the result of several decades of the effect of television. That is probably a little over-simplified, but the argument has some merit. Another possibility is the principle that "what parents excuse in moderation, children abuse in excess" as someone once said. The truth is probably a combination of these and some other factors. The next question would have to be: "What are we going to do?" Before we endeavor to answer that question, we should note that the problems of divorce, drug abuse and family violence, while not as prevalent in the church as they are in the world, are in the church, nevertheless.

In answering any of the specific problems families face, we must first lay a foundation. First, let's identify the cause of the problem. I know, we already talked about why we have this problem. However, let's go back even further, to an even more general cause of the problem. Is life just a roll of the dice...you either have good kids (or parents) or you don't? Some people believe that, but I vigorously deny it! If that were the case, we would not have Scriptures like ...fathers do not provoke your children to wrath... (Ephesians 6:4), or ...evil companions corrupt good morals... (1 Corinthians 15:33). The reason these problems that hurt and destroy families in the world, and even in the church, is because of sin on the part of someone; someone did not obey these commands and others like them. Now, what are we going to do about it?

Matthew 11:28-30 is going to play a large part in dealing with the problems families suffer through in a more specific sense: "Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light." The first step we must take in coming to Jesus is to repent. Regardless of whose sin has brought about the suffering the family is enduring, we must pray for God's help. We must develop an attitude that God is on our side and if we remain on His side (faithful to Him) none of these problems can overcome us. Take some time and read Romans 8:31-39. We must then diligently search the Scriptures to find God's will for dealing with the specific problems that afflict our families. In the next few posts we will be doing just that.

It has been my experience that a great number of people, even Christians, feel that when problems arise, God has somehow failed them. Others may not feel that strongly about it, but still have the idea that they will solve their problems before they approach the Lord. Well, that approach will not work in the long run. The truth of the matter is that God does not give us these problems to punish us, but He does allow us to undergo tests that will only strengthen us if we will rely on His strength to get us through. It ought to be a great source of unceasing comfort and encouragement to know that no matter what happens in your family, God stands at your elbow, ready to take on all your worries and fears and give you the only kind of comfort that helps. He wants to help ease the pain in your family because He loves you and I want you to know that because I love you, too.

Donnie Bates