All families suffer pain. I would like to dedicate this and the next few posts of Barnabas Notes to the encouragement of those whose families are hurting. Often it seems that people have the idea that the only thing God has to say about our problems is, "Be good" or "You cannot have any part of Me until you solve your problems." Nothing could be further from the truth!
Virtually any discussion of the current sociopolitical climate will, at some point, come around to issues affecting families; real people just like you and me. One of the most important topics of discussion and debate in our capital right now is health care. That affects families. Part of the debate on health care deals with abortion and single parent families. Other specific issues that continue to be discussed are specific issues like gangs, drugs and "drive-by shootings"; issues that tear apart families. Politicians on both sides of the aisle want their constituents to think they are concerned with "family values." About the only thing anyone knows for sure today about families is that there is a lot of pain and many have begun to believe that there is no hope no matter where they look. And it is worse now than any of us can remember.
There has always been enough hurt to go around. Families have lost children and/or parents to illness, accident or violence as long as there have been families. Fathers and mothers and children have always "run away" from the rest of the family. There have always been family members who have suffered abuse from someone else in the family. However, it seems that family violece and suffering are on the increase. It could be that it is just reported more; or, it could be that things are just worse. The question is: "Why?" One possibility is that we are seeing the result of several decades of the effect of television. That is probably a little over-simplified, but the argument has some merit. Another possibility is the principle that "what parents excuse in moderation, children abuse in excess" as someone once said. The truth is probably a combination of these and some other factors. The next question would have to be: "What are we going to do?" Before we endeavor to answer that question, we should note that the problems of divorce, drug abuse and family violence, while not as prevalent in the church as they are in the world, are in the church, nevertheless.
In answering any of the specific problems families face, we must first lay a foundation. First, let's identify the cause of the problem. I know, we already talked about why we have this problem. However, let's go back even further, to an even more general cause of the problem. Is life just a roll of the dice...you either have good kids (or parents) or you don't? Some people believe that, but I vigorously deny it! If that were the case, we would not have Scriptures like ...fathers do not provoke your children to wrath... (Ephesians 6:4), or ...evil companions corrupt good morals... (1 Corinthians 15:33). The reason these problems that hurt and destroy families in the world, and even in the church, is because of sin on the part of someone; someone did not obey these commands and others like them. Now, what are we going to do about it?
Matthew 11:28-30 is going to play a large part in dealing with the problems families suffer through in a more specific sense: "Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light." The first step we must take in coming to Jesus is to repent. Regardless of whose sin has brought about the suffering the family is enduring, we must pray for God's help. We must develop an attitude that God is on our side and if we remain on His side (faithful to Him) none of these problems can overcome us. Take some time and read Romans 8:31-39. We must then diligently search the Scriptures to find God's will for dealing with the specific problems that afflict our families. In the next few posts we will be doing just that.
It has been my experience that a great number of people, even Christians, feel that when problems arise, God has somehow failed them. Others may not feel that strongly about it, but still have the idea that they will solve their problems before they approach the Lord. Well, that approach will not work in the long run. The truth of the matter is that God does not give us these problems to punish us, but He does allow us to undergo tests that will only strengthen us if we will rely on His strength to get us through. It ought to be a great source of unceasing comfort and encouragement to know that no matter what happens in your family, God stands at your elbow, ready to take on all your worries and fears and give you the only kind of comfort that helps. He wants to help ease the pain in your family because He loves you and I want you to know that because I love you, too.
Donnie Bates
A peaceful spring on the Macedonian side of Lake Ochrid in the Balkan Mountains
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Monday, January 25, 2010
Crossing the Jordan
It has been my privilege and blessing to have had, on several occasions, the opportunity to write in tribute to a faithful brother who has passed from this life. I realize that the older I get, the more frequently this is likely to happen, but it must be understood that the admiration is genuine in each case.
On Sunday, January 24, 2010 brother Dick Logan laid down his earthly tent and stepped into eternity. It has been my blessing to know this brother almost my entire life. I remember playing against basketball and softball teams he coached when I was a youngster. As a teenager I remember him preaching in small congregations of the Lord's church in the area, always ready to help small groups of Christians who needed it. I remember him as a faithful Gospel preacher (no preacher could ask for higher praise in someone's memory). I mentioned just today to a dear friend of mine that I felt brother Dick was instrumental in my moving to Hugo, Oklahoma just over ten years ago. That move, for my family and me, proved to be pivotal in the way our lives have turned out to this point. In the last ten years, when I was able to be around him more, Dick always had an encouraging word to say to me; I never failed to be humbled by his kindness when in his presence.
Circumstances require that I be out of the country on the day his earthly remains are laid to rest. However, I know that brother Dick would say that is exactly where I need to be. Even so, at 3:00 p.m. CST on Thursday, January 28, 2010, a large part of my heart will be in a country school building in the community of Forrest Grove in Southeastern Oklahoma where family (both physical and spiritual) and friends of Dick Logan will gather to offer tributes to my friend and fellow soldier of the cross. I will not say "final respects" because respect will be paid to this faithful man every time his name is mentioned for many years to come. I pray God's richest blessings on Dick's wife Gloria and all the rest of his family.
Many who read this blog do not know Dick Logan. However, you know of others who have lived faithful lives before God according to His Word. I will close by allowing the apostle Paul to offer words of comfort and it is my wish (and I believe brother Dick would agree) that these words of comfort be applied to every family who grieves at the loss of a loved one who faithfully served Jehovah God.
But we do not want you to be uninformed, brethren, about those who are asleep, so that you will not grieve as do the rest who have no hope. For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so God will bring with Him those who have fallen asleep in Jesus. For this we say to you by the word of the Lord, that we who are alive and remain until the coming of the Lord, will not precede those who have fallen asleep. For the Lord Himself will descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. Then we who are alive and remain will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air, and so we shall always be with the Lord. Therefore, comfort one another with these words. (1 Thessalonians 4:13-18).
God loves you and so do I.
Donnie Bates
On Sunday, January 24, 2010 brother Dick Logan laid down his earthly tent and stepped into eternity. It has been my blessing to know this brother almost my entire life. I remember playing against basketball and softball teams he coached when I was a youngster. As a teenager I remember him preaching in small congregations of the Lord's church in the area, always ready to help small groups of Christians who needed it. I remember him as a faithful Gospel preacher (no preacher could ask for higher praise in someone's memory). I mentioned just today to a dear friend of mine that I felt brother Dick was instrumental in my moving to Hugo, Oklahoma just over ten years ago. That move, for my family and me, proved to be pivotal in the way our lives have turned out to this point. In the last ten years, when I was able to be around him more, Dick always had an encouraging word to say to me; I never failed to be humbled by his kindness when in his presence.
Circumstances require that I be out of the country on the day his earthly remains are laid to rest. However, I know that brother Dick would say that is exactly where I need to be. Even so, at 3:00 p.m. CST on Thursday, January 28, 2010, a large part of my heart will be in a country school building in the community of Forrest Grove in Southeastern Oklahoma where family (both physical and spiritual) and friends of Dick Logan will gather to offer tributes to my friend and fellow soldier of the cross. I will not say "final respects" because respect will be paid to this faithful man every time his name is mentioned for many years to come. I pray God's richest blessings on Dick's wife Gloria and all the rest of his family.
Many who read this blog do not know Dick Logan. However, you know of others who have lived faithful lives before God according to His Word. I will close by allowing the apostle Paul to offer words of comfort and it is my wish (and I believe brother Dick would agree) that these words of comfort be applied to every family who grieves at the loss of a loved one who faithfully served Jehovah God.
But we do not want you to be uninformed, brethren, about those who are asleep, so that you will not grieve as do the rest who have no hope. For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so God will bring with Him those who have fallen asleep in Jesus. For this we say to you by the word of the Lord, that we who are alive and remain until the coming of the Lord, will not precede those who have fallen asleep. For the Lord Himself will descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. Then we who are alive and remain will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air, and so we shall always be with the Lord. Therefore, comfort one another with these words. (1 Thessalonians 4:13-18).
God loves you and so do I.
Donnie Bates
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
My Friends
I have had a lot of cause to think about my friends and friendship in general lately. I am so blessed not to ever have any reason to feel lonely. And, yes, I fully recognize that is a blessing because so many people feel all alone. I could point out that no one should ever feel alone in this world (Psalm 139). I could do my best to convince you that you have friends who love you, but the fact of the matter is, some people feel lonely...some experience a loneliness that is overwhelming.
I have written in other posts about friendship and the healing power of ministry. My purpose here is not to rehash old articles. I find myself this evening simply thinking about my friends. I am so glad that you are part of my life! All of my life I have heard and have been taught that a Christian is never truly alone; that God and one faithful person make a majority. I do not intend to contradict that idea, but I have to say that it becomes more and more evident that my friends are God's gift to me. I can survive if all I have is Him, but I thank Him that He has given me more!
Solomon wrote: A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity (Proverbs 17:17). To my friends I just want to say, "I love you! I pray God's richest blessings upon you. May you have the peace the surpasses all comprehension and may you ever and always know how important you are to me, but more importantly how important you are to God (John 3:16)."
Just in case anyone missed it in all of that, God loves you and so do I!
Donnie Bates
I have written in other posts about friendship and the healing power of ministry. My purpose here is not to rehash old articles. I find myself this evening simply thinking about my friends. I am so glad that you are part of my life! All of my life I have heard and have been taught that a Christian is never truly alone; that God and one faithful person make a majority. I do not intend to contradict that idea, but I have to say that it becomes more and more evident that my friends are God's gift to me. I can survive if all I have is Him, but I thank Him that He has given me more!
Solomon wrote: A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity (Proverbs 17:17). To my friends I just want to say, "I love you! I pray God's richest blessings upon you. May you have the peace the surpasses all comprehension and may you ever and always know how important you are to me, but more importantly how important you are to God (John 3:16)."
Just in case anyone missed it in all of that, God loves you and so do I!
Donnie Bates
Sunday, January 3, 2010
What Now?
Marriage is hard! Everyone who is or has been married knows the truth of that statement. The Scriptures are full of advice and commands on how to make marriage work. The problem is, we sometimes do not listen to what the Scriptures say. The fact of the matter is, the principles I want to focus on in this post apply not only to marriage, but to other relationships, and not only to other relationships in general, but in our whole walk (life) before God; so, ultimately, we mean THE relationship that is most important in the life of each one of us and that would be our relationship with our heavenly Father.
There is some truth to the notion that life is hard. We have a somewhat irreverent modern proverb that says, "Life is hard...then you die!" For the faithful Christian, however, such a statement is not a cynical reflection, but a hope-filled statement.
In his first general epistle, the apostle Peter addressed the relationship between a husband and wife (1 Peter 3). Wives are commanded to be obedient and submissive to their husbands and in the case of a Christian woman who is married to a non-Christian man, such a faithful, Christian attitude can actually lead him to Christ. Husbands are commanded to love their wives and treat them in a very special way, as with a "weaker vessel" and as "heirs together of the grace of life" (i.e. as a fellow Christian) and he gives a warning to husbands who do not obey this command; their prayers will be hindered (1 Peter 3:7). In marriage, as in every other walk of life, if we do not obey the clear commands of Scripture, we are guilty of sin. Unlike many other sins, when we fail in this area (marriage) there is a great deal more pain and suffering evident. In a relationship as close as the marriage relationship (one flesh), the pain and injury caused by insensitivity and outright malice, whether manifested in infidelity or abuse (physical and/or verbal) is more intensely felt than in almost any other kind of sin. Well, what now? It would be easy to dwell in the past, and blame others or even ourselves, but what do I need to do right now in order to be found pleasing to God?
I cannot say this strongly enough: If you are guilty of sin in this or any other area of life, the very first thing you must do is repent and you must do so now. Do not wait until a convenient time, because a more convenient time than now will never come. That having been done, the question comes again: Now what?
The answer to that question is this: realize the true nature of what is happening. You, as a soldier of the cross, are under attack by your enemy, Satan. If you have been guilty of sin he has caused you injury, not in the hurt feelings you experience, but in the case of your yielding to temptation and committing the sin. I am referring to a spiritual injury, not a physical or emotional one. In realizing that you are a soldier of the cross, that this is a war, you should also realize that you are not a lonely sentry cut off from his or her unit. You are not in this alone. Our God has made you part of a fighting unit (the church) and you have faithful comrades in arms who will stand beside you and fight and even if in the fight we lose our lives physically, we win the fight spiritually if we remain faithful. And let us not forget that also on our side is our Dread Champion (Jeremiah 20:11). We will not lose as long as we remain on His side.
Returning to Peter's comments, notice how the apostle describes the Good Fight of living the faithful Christian life, in the context of a successful marriage. 1 Peter 3:10-12: "He who would love life and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips from speaking deceit. Let him turn away from evil and do good; let him seek peace and pursue it. For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and His ears are open to their prayers; but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil."
It does not matter if that which causes you such pain today is a failed marriage, or an attack by someone else who is close to you. It does not matter if your boss has treated you unfairly, or your neighbor has taken advantage of you. Even if a teacher in your school has taken a particular interest in making your life miserable, or if you yourself are the guilty one in any of these scenarios, you can overcome. You can turn from evil and do good, seek peace and pursue it and know that God's eyes are on you; He will not forsake you. He will not force you to repent, or take away your sins if you do not, but if you do, you will win...you will overcome. Isn't it a wonderful thing to know that God loves you? I hope it gives you some measure of comfort to know that I do, too.
Donnie Bates
There is some truth to the notion that life is hard. We have a somewhat irreverent modern proverb that says, "Life is hard...then you die!" For the faithful Christian, however, such a statement is not a cynical reflection, but a hope-filled statement.
In his first general epistle, the apostle Peter addressed the relationship between a husband and wife (1 Peter 3). Wives are commanded to be obedient and submissive to their husbands and in the case of a Christian woman who is married to a non-Christian man, such a faithful, Christian attitude can actually lead him to Christ. Husbands are commanded to love their wives and treat them in a very special way, as with a "weaker vessel" and as "heirs together of the grace of life" (i.e. as a fellow Christian) and he gives a warning to husbands who do not obey this command; their prayers will be hindered (1 Peter 3:7). In marriage, as in every other walk of life, if we do not obey the clear commands of Scripture, we are guilty of sin. Unlike many other sins, when we fail in this area (marriage) there is a great deal more pain and suffering evident. In a relationship as close as the marriage relationship (one flesh), the pain and injury caused by insensitivity and outright malice, whether manifested in infidelity or abuse (physical and/or verbal) is more intensely felt than in almost any other kind of sin. Well, what now? It would be easy to dwell in the past, and blame others or even ourselves, but what do I need to do right now in order to be found pleasing to God?
I cannot say this strongly enough: If you are guilty of sin in this or any other area of life, the very first thing you must do is repent and you must do so now. Do not wait until a convenient time, because a more convenient time than now will never come. That having been done, the question comes again: Now what?
The answer to that question is this: realize the true nature of what is happening. You, as a soldier of the cross, are under attack by your enemy, Satan. If you have been guilty of sin he has caused you injury, not in the hurt feelings you experience, but in the case of your yielding to temptation and committing the sin. I am referring to a spiritual injury, not a physical or emotional one. In realizing that you are a soldier of the cross, that this is a war, you should also realize that you are not a lonely sentry cut off from his or her unit. You are not in this alone. Our God has made you part of a fighting unit (the church) and you have faithful comrades in arms who will stand beside you and fight and even if in the fight we lose our lives physically, we win the fight spiritually if we remain faithful. And let us not forget that also on our side is our Dread Champion (Jeremiah 20:11). We will not lose as long as we remain on His side.
Returning to Peter's comments, notice how the apostle describes the Good Fight of living the faithful Christian life, in the context of a successful marriage. 1 Peter 3:10-12: "He who would love life and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips from speaking deceit. Let him turn away from evil and do good; let him seek peace and pursue it. For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and His ears are open to their prayers; but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil."
It does not matter if that which causes you such pain today is a failed marriage, or an attack by someone else who is close to you. It does not matter if your boss has treated you unfairly, or your neighbor has taken advantage of you. Even if a teacher in your school has taken a particular interest in making your life miserable, or if you yourself are the guilty one in any of these scenarios, you can overcome. You can turn from evil and do good, seek peace and pursue it and know that God's eyes are on you; He will not forsake you. He will not force you to repent, or take away your sins if you do not, but if you do, you will win...you will overcome. Isn't it a wonderful thing to know that God loves you? I hope it gives you some measure of comfort to know that I do, too.
Donnie Bates
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